Illustration: waves of Morse code rising from mud. Code is "joy" repeated again and again

Bestowment (involuntary, beautiful)

I don’t know how long it took, never remembering the moment when—like a floe of ice refreezing to become itself—

(oh so many ways to drag on, through thorns and grass and hollow spans of lovelessness I could only celebrate before the feeling vanished, I had to make of air a memory, I had to shape it like river mud, let it go, call it joy.)

Lilia Marie Ellis is a trans woman writer from Houston. Her work has appeared in publications including The Maine Review and perhappened. Her chapbook Love and Endless Love was published in 2021 by giallo lit. Follow her on Twitter @LiliaMarieEllis!

Morse Code “joy” illustration by C.B. Auder.

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